I don’t know if anyone else has ever felt what I’ve been feeling of recent: I’ve had this extreme fear everything is out to kill me since I leave for Japan next month.
Here’s a brief list of times I’ve felt threatened in the past day or so by normal everyday things:
- I was in a car that was next to a truck. I felt like the truck was going to tip over. And I would die.
- I slept in the basement last night. I was afraid my gas fireplace would leak. And I would die.
- I was sick with a bug a few days ago. I was afraid I would go to sleep and not wake up, like that one girl with a sickness did last year. And thus, I would’ve died.
- I slipped a little on the ice this morning when I stepped outside. I was afraid I was going to fall. And die.
- I was boiling water to make some tea. I was afraid for some reason the kettle would explode and blind me with the boiling water. I would still be alive, but emotionally I would be dead, since I wouldn’t be able to see Japan.
I know, I know. I sound like quite the Debbie-Downer. But I’ve been waiting so long for this it just doesn’t feel true that it’s actually happening (yes I sound cheesy (I hate that word – cheesy. It always reminded me of Chuck E Cheese and that place always scared me because I went there when I was little and the animatronic concert thing gave me nightmares. And if I went there and saw the concert nowadays I’d probably have to add it to my above list))