My life, stories and shenanigans from Japan

Paranoia


I don’t know if anyone else has ever felt what I’ve been feeling of recent: I’ve had this extreme fear everything is out to kill me since I leave for Japan next month.

Here’s a brief list of times I’ve felt threatened in the past day or so by normal everyday things:

  • I was in a car that was next to a truck.  I felt like the truck was going to tip over.  And I would die.
  • I slept in the basement last night.  I was afraid my gas fireplace would leak. And I would die.
  • I was sick with a bug a few days ago. I was afraid I would go to sleep and not wake up, like that one girl with a sickness did last year. And thus, I would’ve died.
  • I slipped a little on the ice this morning when I stepped outside. I was afraid I was going to fall. And die.
  • I was boiling water to make some tea.  I was afraid for some reason the kettle would explode and blind me with the boiling water.  I would still be alive, but emotionally I would be dead, since I wouldn’t be able to see Japan.

I know, I know. I sound like quite the Debbie-Downer.  But I’ve been waiting so long for this it just doesn’t feel true that it’s actually happening (yes I sound cheesy (I hate that word – cheesy. It always reminded me of Chuck E Cheese and that place always scared me because I went there when I was little and the animatronic concert thing gave me nightmares.  And if I went there and saw the concert nowadays I’d probably have to add it to my above list))

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Comments on: "Paranoia" (4)

  1. Ah! I have experienced this before. I do believe this feeling comes about when something you want so badly is so soon to becoming true. The closer it gets, the feeling of “too good to be true” arises and you feel that after all this waiting it truly isn’t going to come true and you won’t be able to experience. Probably a big run-on sentence there, but I understand how you feel.

    The way I got rid of the feeling was… just the process of getting ready for the trip, being able to be so close… that was solice enough for me. Just think about it, no matter what, you got this close and that’s a blessing in and of itself. Just think how it would have been if you had /wanted/ to go on this trip but didn’t have the opportunity. Now /that/ would have sucked.

    Good luck, chi, and keep your head up! ^^ Don’t worry about the feeling, just be thankful for the experience. Oh… and be careful.

  2. sunnivatama said:

    omg , hehe.. What you’ve written , I can totally say that I’ve been thinking the same XP … LOL

    it’s weird! ^^

  3. angiechees said:

    Wow! That’s pretty freaky. I’ve been experiencing the same too. Except it’s a little bit different. You see, I dream of people dying or dead people every night. It’s scary.

  4. Haha, funny XD
    I haven’t had this whole “I’m going to die”-thing, but I’ve been really nervous I would be a little sick, so that YFU would say that I couldn’t go to Japan after all :( And that would, of course, be horrible D:

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